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Ain't Capitalism Grand?
The Weird eBay Auctions Warehouse

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The following links are taken from eBay.com. We have no association with eBay. We don't dislike them, we don't like them -- we just think these items for "sale" are funny. We are reporting them to the public. We don't make any money if you buy from eBay. So don't get mad at us.

This section has stuff that could be offensive. Surf at your own risk. This page isn't meant for children, the humor impared, or those who fail to grasp sarcasm.

New ones should be added err..... sooner or later. Don't forget to email us about weird sales or links that seem broken.

Please do not email us about souls for sale.



Newest Additions!
* Hair plus cheese equals lawsuit.

Think something deserves to be a "fan favorite?" Make your case to the webmaster.



Fan Favorites
* Twenty-Four kids
* . . . and his references.
* The kidney that made world-wide news
* Someone's virginity
* The nails from a serial killer
* Grandma
* Someone really was attached to his pack of cigarrettes
* Snow
* French Toast not eaten by N'Sync's Justin Timberlake
* We have the baby. He just needs a name.
* Haunted pictures?
* Buffalo is cold. And snowy.



People
* Offspring, the band
* A pair of Asian slaves.
* An Assistant Manager
* The life of a college student
* Be pen pals
* RandomPerson: Bryan (who?)
* Oh brother. (Bad pun. Screw it.)
* A hillbilly (shower not included)
* CelebWatch: Bob Eubanks!!
* CelebWatch: Lando Calrissian.
* A Linux geek (from the User Friendly crew)
* Someone's fiance (page includes a baby picture)
* Somone selling himself
* All he wants is love.
* A lazy punk wanna-be with one leg
* Own your very own bobsled team!
* Need a CEO with Internet savvy?
* RandomPerson: Shane is?
* A willing sperm donor (loser #1)
* Another loser.
* And yet another loser.
* One night with your spouse

Elian Gonzalez
* Elian Auction #1
* Elian Auction #2
* Elian's alleged artwork
* And his alleged raft
* Air from Little Havana
* Another Elian thing, but I forgot what.
* Elian: Network Guru

Body Parts and Fluids+
* Fingers
* A phallus
* An Egg.
* Drug-free urine
* Kidneys fetch over $5 million dollars. Testicles? $0
* Someone's booger
* Thirty-one inches of toenails.
* Really big ears
* Nails? Hair? Why not both?
* A set of teeth
* More toenails
* A signed jar of someone's feces (with an artist's rendition!)
* . . . and the seller's references.
* A foot of human hair.
* Complete your human clone with a glass eye.
* I don't find feet to be sexy.

Animal Kingdom!
* A shot glass holder that puts Kermit to shame
* A dead, stuffed, and bongo playing frog
* A deer butts
* Knitting with doghair
* Dead kitties
* One-hundred fifty pounds of deer, elk, etc.
* An antique bottle a dead mouse.
* A cow's skull
* Buy an annoying cat.
* It's man's best friend fertilizer.
* How about penis bones from raccoons?
* That's not a mink coat I'm wearing. It's genuine dog hair.
* Another animal butt?
* FIVE! cat turds.
* A can of dolphin safe tuna. Yum.
* I'd like to grow my own cows.
* Mummified cat
* Same theme: Fossil Turtle Poo

Metaphysical Stuff
* If you don't find us funny, buy a sense of humor
* The meaning of life
* Someone's soul is for sale. Actually, a lot of them are.
* Here's another soul, but for a lot more money.
* Thanks.
* Just a pinch of of fairy dust
* A quarter foran opinion
* The secret of life
* Do you have a conscience? You don't? Buy one.
* This seller will tell predict your fate
* Someone's last 100 thoughts about sex.
* Even fallacious thoughts and lies are worth only a penny.
* good advice for two pennies.
* Appreciation is a wonderful thing. And cheap.
* Have no dignity? It's all yours.
* Not really metaphysical-- ghost droppings

Face it: You're Addicted to eBay
* A shirt for all those Soul-sellers
* An eBay patch
* One non-nude pic (get positive feedback!)
* A VHS collection of his eBay addiction.

Technology and Accessories
* The Internet (note the file name)
* The AIM screen name "Telegroopy"
* It's an udderly unbelievable computer cover
* Internet Relay Chat as a lucrative business
* Starting a new city system? Here's a really big power supply
* A Y2K Compliant straw
* Guns are banned on eBay. Missles? They're fine.
* Thesecrackers may not have been Y2K compliant (?)
* One people sized pressure cooker. (It's actually low pressure.)
* A Russian Military Patrol Boat is for sale.
* It's the Super Duper Shop Vac Time Travel Thingy!

Health and Beauty Aids (and then some!)
* Soft toilet paper
* A half used tube of toothpaste
* Ozzy Ozbourne makes some holy water
* Nine used toothbrushes

Dirt, Water, Etc.
* Not Elvis, but close: Memphis
* Dirt from the Civil War
* A scoopful of dirt from Texas.
* A lump of coal
* A jar of air from Woodstock
* A scoopful of dirt from New York City
* Pool water from "Melrose Place"
* Tacky Alert: Seawater near the JFK Jr. crash
* Palm Beach. COD only, please.
* Think that you own the planet? Now you can!
* She sells sea shells and some of the sea's shore
* Good ole lucky rock. Nothing beats Rock! Except paper.
* Need a light? How about the sun?
* Pristine, jarred air

Just Plain Evil
* The Adolf Hitler pin cushion
* Eh, there are Charles Manson fans out there?
* Become an Honorary Klansman with this membership token

Gr-ross
* A shrunken head
* Caution! This auction makes farting sounds! (really.)
* It's just a fart in the wind, jarred. (no sounds though.)
* "Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be a pornstar."
* Up for grabs: used boxers
* A used, broken (we dont know how) vibrator.
* Put your peckerunder lock and key?
* Socks up for bid. Act now and get that sweaty smell free
* A used hankerchief? WhatTheHeck?
* A used penis enlarger. Not like a new one would be better.

Weird Inventions
* Are you overheated? Just add water (?) to this tie.
* A handle that holds handles.

Stuff We've Yet to Categorize
* Please, don't steal the mustard
* My name on your site
* This is Ground Control to Cosmonaut Ivan
* Caveat... empty? PS2 box, PS2 not included
* . . . and see the seller's references.
* He kicks ass... literally.
* A time machine. Rustoleum not included.
* This is the auction that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends.
* Butter? Parkay? PDA?
* One roast beef sandwhich. Fifty percent off, if you act fast.
* Creepy photo of Nicole Simpson, kinda.
* In case you forget your name, use theirs.
* Some schmoe who went to school with a friend of mine.
* Spotted Dick. I wonder how it tastes.
* Mexico. PayPal is accepted.
* Nudist Colony Barbie!
* Do you look fat in this?
* British humour ... absolutely nothing?
* From "Cold War" to "collectable"
* A portrait of you, done quickly.
* This auction made it for the words "best cock."
* "Luke, I am your underpants."
* He didn't finish his dinner, but you can!
* Return to sender by Priority Mail
* Make 7 Up Yours
* Sand from Baywatch
* A can of . . . something
* Hair from a serial killer
* Bovine Phallus Alert!
* Power, floating your way.
* Metallica's integrity
* Coprolite (Dino Poop. Same thing.)
* A "pudder" is a golf putter, and a pud, in one.
* Dog food, video games, naked sisters... huh?
* Girls gym socks, complete with smell
* A 35 cent ballpoint pen for $8.00.
* Strawberry soda, $9.00.
* Games people play... for $1m
* A deflated red balloon
* Absolutely nothing!
* Elvis sat here
* An egg seperator of a special kind
* A UFO Finder
* An alien (maybe found by the auction above)
* Toilet paper and a fortune cookie in one
* Audio tapes that'll change you into a baby
* A, uh, Russian sub
* Hot dogs from the Super Bowl
* Liquid Roadkill [!]
* Really old toilet paper
* A flying penis
* Penis pasta
* I'm not sure what this is. It's strange and disturbing.
* For Sale: Mini-Mt. Rushmore portraits (wrong Roosevelt)
* Poop. It's a real business?
* Your own very shiny (and small) profile of Abraham Lincoln
* The deal of the decade: An empty box
* This has to be a pyramid scheme type of scam.
* A sock monkey. Oh, just click it. It's weird.
* Start your very own Alien breeding ground.
* Some old embalmer's fluid.
* Crucifying Barbie (with Last Supper Ken?)
* Lots of recyclables.
* Your very own Clown School
* A lot of really cruddy birthday gifts.
* Now for sale: a broken flashlight.
* 1000 tons of fabric.
* A barfbag
* It's money in your pocket: lint
* It's a plethora of treasures from someone's couch.
* Have you ever lit an EasyBake Oven on fire?
* A meat grinder specially marketed towards Beanie Babies.
* Hideous shoes
* Super-rare, extra-clear, ultra-sticky . . . tape
* Don't you have to earn Girl Scout Patches?
* ICQ is free, right? Someone forgot to tell this auctioneer that.
* The Ark of the Covenant
* . . . and the seller's references.
* A picture of someone's butt for sale, but not shown
* Phone home, tell mom about an alien in a jar!
* This expensive drinking utensil is fit for kings. . . or the trash.
* Advertise on a "travelling billboard" - someone's car
* Now, a place to park that car.
* A replica WWF Championship Belt (picture loads slowly).
* The frog patrol.
* All the chinese food you can eat, if you can find a chef.
* Break Even Auction: a dollar for 67 cents plus shipping.
* Hillary Clinton plans to whip the Senate into shape. Literally.
* Fake breasts? I hope it's a Halloween costume.


See one we missed? Email us the URL.
But please, no more souls. There are at least three on eBay daily. And if you emailed us, don't expect it to go up right away. We like to space out the posts so we have new stuff more often.
 

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