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|Uncle Bob's Glass Eye (No Reserve)
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My Uncle Bob lost an eye in WWII. The government gave
him a beautiful brown glass eye. It matched Uncle Bob's
real eye perfectly. I used to tell Uncle Bob "Hell
Uncle Bob you can't tell that it's not real!" Of
course you could tell it wasn't real because it never moved.
Remember how Sammy Davis Jr's eye would never move? Well
Uncle Bob's was the same. I think it made Uncle Bob feel
better when I would tell him that you couldn't tell it
from his real eye. Uncle Bob loved to drink. He said
it was because of the war and all the terrible things he saw
there plus losing his eye and all. The guys at the bar
where Uncle Bob would go to drink used to tease him and
call him names like "You one-eyed bastard" and names
such as that. Uncle Bob would come home drunk and say
how much he hated that damn glass eye because it didn't
look real and the damn government gave him the cheapest
damn glass eye you could get. That's when I would speak
up and tell Uncle Bob that his eye DID look real and those
guys at the bar were a bunch of assholes and he shouldn't
hang out with them anymore. Uncle Bob finally drank
himself to death and he wanted to be cremated so that's
what we did. Uncle Bob's will was read and boy was I
surprised when the lawyer said that Uncle Bob left his
glass eye to me. He said something like "Since you like
my damn glass eye so much and think it looks so damn real
here it is!" I was stunned. I kept the glass eye in the
top drawer of my chest of drawers right next to my condoms.
One night my girlfriend went in the drawer to get a condom
and damn near had a fatal heart attack. I love Uncle Bob
and all that but my girlfriend said that if I don't get rid
of that damn glass eye I would never get sex again! Well,
what the hell do you do with a used glass eye? eBay!
Buyer pays $3.20 priority shipping. No reserve! "The Mojo
Uncle Bob's Glass Eye (No Reserve) (Item #130268332)
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