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I will kick your ass.
Item # 1641798199
Everything Else:Services:Other
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Bid!
Currently $99,999,999.00 First bid $0.01
Quantity 1 # of bids 63 bid history
Time left 6 days, 19 hours +
Location Albany, NY
Country/Region USA/Albany
Started Sep-23-01 14:06:38 PDT envelope mail this auction to a friend
Ends Sep-30-01 14:06:38 PDT watch this itemwatch this item
Seller (Rating) hail_brak (3)
view comments in seller's Feedback Profile | view seller's other auctions | ask seller a question
High bid pricebeats (27) star
Payment See item description for payment methods accepted
Escrow Tradenable is accepted if buyer pays fee.Learn more.
Shipping Will ship to United States and the following regions:
Asia. Caribbean. Europe. Mexico and Central America. Canada Australasia. South America. See item description for shipping charges.
Item Revised Before First Bid To review revisions made to this item by the seller, click here.

Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S. dollars ( $ ) unless otherwise noted.
Description
Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:

1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.

Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.

Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.

I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.


Bidding

I will kick your ass.
Item # 1641798199
Current bid: $99,999,999.00
Bid increment: $100.00
Your maximum bid:
(Minimum bid: $100,000,099.00 )
Note: Bids of $ 15000 or more require user verification with a credit card or alternative verification prior to placing a bid. Learn more .

eBay will bid incrementally on your behalf up to your maximum bid, which is kept secret from other eBay users. The eBay term for this is proxy bidding .


Your bid is a contract - Place a bid only if you're serious about buying the item. If you are the winning bidder, you will enter into a legally binding contract to purchase the item from the seller.
How to Bid
1. Register to bid - if you haven't already. It's free!
2. Learn about this seller - read feedback comments left by others.
3. Know the details - read the item description and payment & shipping terms closely.
4. If you have questions - contact the seller hail_brak before you bid.
5. Place your bid!
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