March 27, 2000

So, I went to a "cast" party last week, which means I went to a party with twenty cast members from Happy End and about 100 other theater people who give new meaning to the word eccentric (myself included). As I was "dancing" (let's be honest, I can't walk and chew gum at the same time) one of my friends came up to me and delivered a most eloquent monologue:

"Hey, Adam, wazzup? Get this, get this, I got myself a 7 and 7, which means I can drink this whole thing, and it's not even seven! But that's okay because I don't really like seven 'cause it doesn't appear in pi until like a dozen digits or something. (Yes, this was the same guy from my previous rumination.)

"But yeah, like, I was thinking of this movie that we should do 'cause it'd be great, 'cause get this: A Capella Cadavers! Yeah, that's right, it's all about these guys who get in this a capella group, right? And they take all sorts of..."

<<Said friend becomes woozy and stabilizes himself on the breasts of other friend who proceeds to freak with him for next several minutes.>>

"What was I sayin'? Oh yeah, that's right, so this a capella group is really a bunch of these Mafioso guys who do nothing but like run a big cartel. So, they got this one kid called "Banker" who keeps track of all their money (he's also the percussion and he does this thing with his chin that makes a puff and this funked 'Pfft' sound), and then these two gangsters come in and start messing up the place saying stuff like, 'Man, I'm gonna rip you a new Mofo Hole, 'cause you ain't got the goods I need to stuff yo' ass in my back pocket.'

"So Banker says something like, 'Uh...no, foo',' and pulls out these two huge ass guns like that kid in the Matrix who creates that woman in the red dress (damn she's hot, I wanna stick my head right betw--), and Banker starts blowing up the joint."

<<Said friend swoons, loses consciousness for twenty seconds, then somehow gets himself back on his feet.>>

I inquire, "How does it end?"
"How does what end?"
"The movie?"
"Oh, that? The Taco Bell Dog sings the Canadian National Anthem."

Whoa, I wasn't expecting that one.

Adam